Can’t believe the due date is so close now – 16 days! Not that I am too focused on THE date, knowing how statistically unlikely it is for the baby to come exactly then. (So many sources of data, but about 5% chance.)
As for now, I’m content to wait. Things have improved since I posted a couple weeks ago, my midwife ordered a maternity support band for me and it helped tremendously! Like, made the difference between me being functional enough to run errands in the late afternoon vs. lying in bed.
Jane also started preschool last week, leaving me with 2 hours of free time every Tue. and Thurs. a.m. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it feels so leisurely to drop her off and come home and slowly eat breakfast, drink coffee, take care of lingering “to-do before baby” tasks.
But, there is really nothing pressing left to do. So we’re just enjoying these gorgeous fall days and I’ve adjusted to just being slow and sleeping a lot. A great combination of being relatively comfortable and having people willing to do lots of nice things for me because I’m so big!
(Shit, how does that ever stretch back! Pregnancy never ceases to amaze me…)
I haven’t been without my emotional moments though. The other night I had a dream that I was in a shack with Jane and a few other faceless family members and a tiger came in and was definitely going to eat me alive while my little girl watched. I woke up thinking what if something happens to me during child birth??! (A thought which has surprisingly stayed out of my head for the most part up until now!)
Then I started crying just imagining saying goodbye to her before leaving for the hospital. I asked Nathan the next morning is it too morbid to write into a birth plan to save my life over the baby’s if needed because I couldn’t handle the thought of leaving Jane. He said he understood and would vouch for me, if it comes to that.
Otherwise, I’m trying to neither worry too much about the birth nor expect it to be as easy as last time. Had an appointment with the midwife today though and everything is on track, iron levels are up, and baby is in perfect position, so I’m optimistic.