Jane got her first fever last night. It is really distressing to go get your baby from her crib at 1 a.m. and feel the heat radiating off her. 102.5.
We called the nurse hotline, who told us just give her ibuprofen and check in an hour to see if it goes down. And by morning, it did, but in the meantime we had a restless night, part of it with her in our bed because I was worried…
I wouldn’t consider my self the “paranoid sort” of mother. I never checked on her ten times a night as a newborn to make sure she was breathing or anything. I don’t care if she crawls on a less than spotless floor or puts other kids’ toys in her mouth.
And we even know the probable reason for the fever, it’s obvious she’s cutting one of her front teeth right now.
But still, at 1 a.m. I was mentally mapping out our route to the ER. Trying to calm down by telling myself “Babies don’t just die. They aren’t just normal at dinnertime and then BAM get fevers and die…. right? Or I would’ve heard stories about it??!”
And I know that is irrational but the mind goes there…
And now it’s nighttime again and the fever is back and we’ve given her more drugs and she is sleeping. And I hope she sleeps well but at the same time will be relieved when she cries so I know she’s ok (and then immediately hope she goes back to sleep again…)
I’m not pacing the floors, but I’m not totally at ease. Low level paranoia and anxiety, is it a constant theme of parenting?