Jane will be 4 months old tomorrow. Unfortunately I have no new pics to share, I’m at a coffee shop for internet connection and don’t have the camera here.
Things are still good overall, some days are great, but on the hard days I feel like the work will never end.
The worst thing is that my health seems so fragile since she’s been born. I never used to get sick much, but within the first couple months I had two separate entire weeks with full on sore throat, head so stuffed I couldn’t breathe awful colds.
Since then it seems like every other week I’ll feel a sore throat coming on or feel so run down I can barely function. She’s still sleeping well (for a four month old), but 7 hours of twice interrupted sleep just doesn’t cut it for me. I have to be constantly vigilant about getting enough sleep and staying healthy.
Another big stressor has been that I can’t pump enough at work to replace what she eats while I’m gone, so my freezer stash is very low and we’re getting close to the point where we might have to supplement with formula.
I know, I know it’s not the worst thing in the world, lots of babies do just fine on formula… but on some level I still feel like a failure, like I should be at home feeding my baby or trying harder to pump more, and going to the store to buy some shitty processed formula just makes me want to cry.
On the upside, we have so much to look forward to this summer, and Nathan has been more supportive than ever.
And just for fun – one of the oldest pics I have saved on this computer, from my birthday two years ago:
Do you have a Pedal Pub in your city? It’s some serious fun, we might do it again this year.