I thought a couple days before x-mas seemed an appropriate time as ever to document our Fall… which has basically stretched until now, we’ve had such mild weather, going to the park in t-shirts into November and no accumulating snowfall. I’m grateful for it, makes everything a little easier and less depressing with all the cold and darkness and changes in our lives.
They say the first holidays post-divorce (or separation, in my case) are the hardest, but I think Halloween was the hardest for me because it was always sort of “our” holiday.
But that is long past and I got through it, as I will the next two weeks and the bleak months of Jan. and Feb., I suppose.
Jane started a pre-k program through the Minneapolis Public Schools where she goes every day from 9-12. She loves it, I love it. Our neighbor who has two kids going to the same school and also works mornings there, walks over to pick her up, then she takes the bus home, so I never have to bundle up Aiden to leave the house. (Thankfully, because it’s a physical struggle these days to get my almost 15 mo. old dressed.)
We are watching a 4 yr. old boy 3 days/wk., so I pick him up from his preschool right before Jane gets off the bus. Then we have lunch and really our only “inside” activity so far this cold season has been meeting friends at the library for like 1.5 hours before Aiden has to take his second nap around 2:30.
The librarians hate us. I think they expect a parent to come in with their single child and play with them the whole time. Instead 3 or 4 of us show up with our herd of children and let them play (in the separate kids area!) amongst themselves while we try to talk. Yeah once in awhile one of them shrieks loudly or escapes to the lobby, but… they’re kids! We have been scolded so many times like schoolchildren ourselves, it’s hard not to laugh.
The mom of the boy I watch just happens to work at my favorite yoga studio so has given me an unlimited pass as partial payment. I could not be happier with this, because it’s very expensive, and it’s saving my sanity so much right now. I am still really struggling with the separation and Aiden is going through a tough phase where he’s into everything and absolutely SHRIEKS, like the worst ear piercing sound, if he’s even the tiniest bit frustrated. So if I know I get to go to yoga at the end of the day it helps so much. It’s like my therapy, I probably cry at some point during half the sessions, good thing it is dark and everyone is so sweaty you can’t tell.
Nathan got his own apartment in Sept. so our finances are worse than ever, considering we were barely able to pay the bills before. He’s in the middle of a 5 month post-graduation training period where he rides along with another officer and the schedule is completely random. He just started working nights but luckily the station is close and shift starts at 8:00 p.m. so he can come over before his shift to hang out with the kids so I get a break at the end of my day.
That is life right now. I used to be such a planner, for the long term future, but I am trying to accept that it’s no longer in my control. We’ll see what kind of permanent shift Nathan gets in the spring. We have enough savings to get by until then, but realistically I need to think about getting a job once Jane starts kindergarten and putting Aiden in daycare. It breaks my heart and I barely have enough energy to make dinner and get the laundry done much less think about a career change, but… trying not to worry about it too much now. We’ll see what happens in a few months.